I'm an or-fer too, Mum!

Despite repeatedly telling my four-year old son I'm NOT an author, he's convinced I am. Because an "or-fer" is someone who writes? And Mummy writes.

Today he proudly rushed up. "Mummy, you know! I'm an orfer too! I wrote a poem...AND a book! Listen, Mummy, Look Mummy!" Clutching and waving one (of Grandma's) index-cards with scrawls on, and one little book I'd knocked up blank to keep him occupied, of folded stapled recycled A4. He can read now, bless his little brain, and loves to write stuff all on his own - shopping lists, whatever - with inimitable phonetic spelling which his teacher finds "amazing" but I just find a result of our having read to him at home before bed, since birth...

The poem read thus (sic - work it out!): Sharks and fishis
sharks and fishes
Cuming to FiTe
They Fite all niTE
Thiy fiTE all Day
on Minis Bay

Minnis Bay, where we strolled along the shore on Good Friday. Got the "Fishes" right second time lucky!

The book appeared to be a cross between a thriller and Harry Potter (!!) - yes we have a four and a half year old Harry Potter maniac in the house, and a little 3 year old sister who is convinced she's called Hermione.
The book "cover" started off with his name neatly written across the top (as author) and boldly proclaimed, in purple, red, grey and orange felt-tip pen: Harry Potter aNd The HarFF BluD PrinC

(He doesn't know the story as I veto anything beyond the tame first couple of plots in the series, but we read (simple bits) or recount (general plot) and sometimes watch a few choice sequences from the movies: 1 and 2 only. So the Half-Blood Prince has reached mystical proportions - something "Big Boys" can read: "And I can watch when I am 11!"...

Page 1 and 2 read as follows (sic, again I'll leave you to decode):
ONe EVNiNg sumThiNg funNy HappaND
The wiNDO was cract
WiTV Owt
SumThiNg BrakiNg iN
But The ROBRZ Wor Theer

Harry suDaNlee wok up
He JumPT OWt OF BED
He JumPT aNd got Hiss Owl Kage

"Bloody Hell!" I thought! "He's got a more gripping opening than any I've ever managed to write!" He showed it proudly to Grouchy Grandpa. "Ha!" says Grouch. "At this rate, the young chap'll burst into print before you!"