I wrote to a very successful female serial entrepreneur with a hot business , award-winning blogger, influential writer and author, and - yes! - mother of a young son. I wanted advice on... just let's say one of my (frustrated? or frustrating?!) blogging ventures....this is what she wrote:
"hm. i don't have advice. except. okay. i'm just going to be totally honest: you sound incredibly bored and lonely and you should put your kids in daycare and get a job. why aren't you doing that?
i was a stay at home mom for three years and nearly died. some people aren't cut out for it, just like some people aren't cut out for the office.
try going to therapy. really. to figure out what's right for you. it's hard to get perspective when you're home with kids all day.
also, try this site: escapefromcubiclenation.com -- i think it's a lot of people like you."
Yaaaaahhhhhh.....before I ran screaming to cut my veins, I set up this blog. Three minutes later! For MORE people like me. I hope you'll find me over the ether, and we'll help each other to become what we know we can become, even if only by starting to dig up that old initiative and believe in ourselves, dust off that rusty career, or just share past and present experiences to help clarify...what? a predicament? life? - well, anything (and save on therapy costs, if that's how you'd have it!!)
By the way, this is what I wrote:
"Hi, I am a mum-of-two from Wimbledon,London,England. Having been given a place at Oxford University (and never went) and worked for PriceWaterhouseCoopers (and never stayed) and been a straight-A candidate throughout my life (and accomplished musician, and artist, but only at an 'amateur' level), speak 5 languages, have travelled the world, I now find myself a stay-at-home mother of two kids under 5, 40 years old this year, and with a horrible sense of frustration and untapped potential...I know I'm smart, savvy and have good leadership skills, a perfectionist who knows how to delegate, and enough patience to set up my own business one day. BUT: with no time, a house to renovate, and a husband who works all hours, for the moment my only creative outlet is writing.
I would love to build up a readership as there is very little in my life to provide me with honest feedback and off which bounce off my thoughts. When the kids are older if I don't end up doing something really entrepreneurial I will disappoint myself, but for the moment I'm doing the little I can!"
Any thoughts? Any other frustrated mums - LONDON CALLING?!!
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There is a saying, "Insanity is hereditary; you get it from your children." I have a sneaking sense this may apply in your case.
ReplyDeleteI've touched on this matter at my main blog (http://chrome-on-the-range.blogspot.com). (You can copy and paste that into your browser and find me that way (hopefully). There's a particular piece about "Cheaper than Therapy" which may be of some interest.
Sorry you didn't get to Oxford; you might be a Don by now.
Please keep writing. I think you're good at it. Bright, reflective, creative.
Thank God for little mercies, Rob bear! I need and will thrive on encouragement, though I do know that doing something I love and can lose myself in should be reward enough in an ideal world...in an ideal world...in an ideal world!!! (echo intentional)
ReplyDeleteWriting is always a good outlet. Helps you exercise your brain cells. It's been a sort of a therapy for me for the last 3 years.
ReplyDeleteI don't have any kids (still single) so I cannot relate to your situation but still thought that I could give you some words of encouragement on the go. In fact, let me paraphrase Rob: Keep writing, you can only get better at it.
And guess what - you are a published author already :)